Go right now to the place where you keep your spare change. Maybe its in a jar in your closet or in your bedside table drawer – wherever. Check in your couch cushions and under your car seats. Gather up all that change that is just sitting there collecting dust (not interest) and take it to your local bank or supermarket where they have a change counting machine. Dump it in. Count it up. Then go straight back home, get online, and make a donation to an organization that is working to create social change. It is that simple and believe me, those organizations need your money to be able to do what they do. Many of them are hurting for money and they are all doing great work. If you need some suggestions, take a look at the Recommendations page. There are some great ones there.
Sometimes a new “thing” comes along that causes a shift in our culture. I don’t mean in the way that electricity or cars or the internet changed us, but smaller things that might seem less important, but that help plot the course ahead. Often we don’t recognize these things in the moment. It is only in hindsight that we come to know these thing as cultural icons. One of those icons is the Apple iPhone.
The iPhone has taken the country by storm and is only just beginning to show signs of slowing down. There is a very good chance that you know at least 1 person with an iPhone…there is an even better chance that you know 7-8 people with an iPhone. At it’s peak, Apple was selling a whopping 20,000 iPhones every single day. Well over 4 million of them have been sold in all.
So you may ask yourself “what is so cool about an iPhone anyway???” Many users will tell you that their favorite part of owning one is the applications or “apps”. You can get apps that do just about anything you can imagine. Some are tools. Some are games. Some are novelties. Many are very useful. Some are just for fun. For example, take a look at the iBeer app:
Personally, I think that is kinda cool. I’d much rather have a real beer, but I can see why people think that app is cool and fun to have. Part of owning an iPhone is the competition for having the coolest apps. That can be fun too. Check out this popular one called Wobble:
I thought that was kinda neat when I first saw it. However, it would be naive to think that Wobbling a pig’s nose is the most common use for Wobble. If you do a search on You Tube for Wobble demos you will find the majority to be something like this:
Ug! I am not sure who to angry with. Should I be mad at Apple for approving this (and many other apps that aren’t “adult content” but objectify and sexualize women)? Probably. In their defense, it is the users of the app that choose how they use it. The app itself is not inherently indecent or inappropriate. Also, Apple has a fairly strict policy banning adult content. However, they have nothing in place that bans the blatant objectification of women.
How about I point my lazers at the app developer? Clearly the app was designed for making breasts wobble. Even their own marketing suggest it…see:
I’d say that the developers are a pretty good place to start. However, they are a business and by definition are bound by the law of supply and demand. There is a demand for this type of product, so they are supplying product to meet the demand. That is what businesses do. While it is horrible for them to profit from exploiting women, they aren’t stealing money from people. Consumers of their content are freely giving their money to the developers.
So, I guess I am angry with all of the people (the vast majority of whom are men) who purchased this app. Why can’t these men understand that every time we support a business that exploits women sexually we are reinforcing a culture that allows for violence against women to occur??? Why can’t men understand that things like this are more than just harmless fun? Wobble, combined with the hundreds of thousands of other little things embedded in our culture that objectify and sexualize women, does massive damage to women (and men for that matter). Ask any woman that has been physically or sexually assaulted. Ask any child that witnessed or experienced abuse in their home.
Most people can see that one cockroach in your house isn’t a huge deal, but having thousands of them would be horrific and unacceptable. Do you get my point? If you saw a cockroach in your home, you get out the bug spray and take care of it or you’d call an exterminator, right? But when we come across things like Wobble or an ad for Axe Body Spray or a billboard for Skyy Vodka we remain silent and right it off as no big deal. Well, it is a big deal. We have to speak up and we have to be more responsible consumers and citizens. Tell these companies to stop exploiting women. Educate men on how damaging these products are to women. Support men in our efforts to change our behavior and our culture.
ACTION STEP:
Forward a link to this blog to 5 people, particularly men. BUT – don’t treat it like any other forward. I hate those and so does everyone else I know. If ending sexism (and ultimately violence against women) is important to you, tell the people you are going to send it to that it is coming and that it is really important to you that they read it and pass it on to 5 more people. Tell them face to face or on the phone (not in an email) and let them know that you mean it. It is important that they hear your actual voice so they know this is personal to you.
We must build a critical consciousness around the root causes of violence against women in our society. This will be a giant step in the right direction. What if we could get 1,000 people to view it this week or 10, 000 by this time next month or 100,000 in a year? Think about the impact that would have. One small action on your part could be enough to tip this issue toward gender equality. I challenge you to make it happen.
Don’t let one rotten app spoil the entire bushel. Take action today!!!
Have you heard the new song by Jamie Foxx (featuring T-Pain)? It is called “Blame It”. In case you haven’t I’ve got it for you right here, along with the lyrics so you can read along:
The official video
Here are the lyrics (unofficial)
This makes me sad. I have (or had) a tremendous amount of respect for Jamie Foxx as an actor, comedian and musician. He is incredibly talented without question. It is sad to see him write a song that promotes getting a girl drunk for the purposes of having sex her. Wait…there is another way to say that. Oh yeah…a song that promotes rape. Surprised at that? I am sure Jamie Foxx would be too.
You see, I don’t believe that Jaime Foxx set out to write a song that promotes rape. I bet he still doesn’t know that he wrote a song that promotes rape. In fact, I bet if you asked him about it he would look at you like you are crazy (perhaps the same way you might look at me if I were there right now). Before you rush to judgement or dismiss my words, hear me out.
This is a case of Jamie Foxx being ignorant. Before you get it twisted, ignorant means uninformed or unaware, not stupid. I am not insulting Mr. Foxx. I am merely pointing out that he, like so many male musicians, doesn’t realize what he is actually saying in those lyrics. He doesn’t know what damage he is doing by making a song like that. I think he came up with a catchy hook and a snappy tune that would have mass appeal to the part of society that has the power to keep him relevant and profitable. I also believe he is pressured by his record label, J-Records (owned and operated by Sony Music Entertainment) to write songs that are risque and a little taboo to create a buzz around his music. Being controversial sells records. This is not diverting blame to other places. Jamie Foxx needs to be held accountable for his role in this. However, he is not the only one that needs to shoulder the blame. We also need to take a look at Sony, the radio industry, MTV, VH1, BET, Ron Howard, Jake Gyllenhall, Forest Whitaker, Samuel L. Jackson, WalMart, Target, Amazon and many others. This song is part of a much larger system designed to generate profit at the expense of, and without regard to, women and people of color.
Do you know that Foxx performed the song on American Idol in April? Do you know that American Idol is the number one rated show for children 13 and under? What message is this sending to the teens and tweens that are fans of American Idol? Just in case it isn’t clear, I will tell you. The message for boys is that it is perfectly acceptable for you to get a girl drunk and take advantage of her when she is “loosened up”. For girls, the message is that if you have too much to drink then it is your fault if you are raped. For a 13 year old (or younger) those messages are very strong and sticky. This is the age when youth are forming their attitudes and beliefs about healthy sexuality. If the message they get is that drug facilitated sexual assault is acceptable, then we have a huge problem on our hands. Songs like this reinforce promote and gender inequality.
We cannot remain silent while musicians from every genre of music crank out song after song that sexualizes, objectifies and commodifies women. We have to send a very clear message to the entertainment industry that we demand something different. We can no longer support an industry that is willing to make their money off of the backs of women. We have created a culture that supports violence against women and that must stop. It is time we build a society that values women for their intelligence, insight and wisdom rather than their sexuality and beauty. It starts with an awakening. We must start talking about these issues publicly and we must inspire others to do the same. It is our job to throw a few stones into the water and create a ripple effect.
Jamie Foxx is scheduled to appear on The Ellen DeGeneres Show on May 18. Please consider contacting Ellen DeGeneres and urge her to talk to Jamie Foxx about this song and the messages embedded in it. I don’t want her to cancel him as a guest. I would much rather see an honest discussion about the issue. While I don’t feel it is Ellen’s (or any other woman’s) responsibility to confront him, she is in an unique position to bring this issue up publicly. If you’d like to encourage Ellen to take action you can reach her on Twitter (@TheEllenShow) or through her website at http://ellen.warnerbros.com/. Sadly, Jamie Foxx has no contact information on his official website http://www.jamiefoxx.com. If you find a way to contact him, please put it in the comments or tweet it.
***If you are on Twitter, be sure to follow me @responsiblemen. Also, please use the hash tag #ignorantfoxx on any tweets related to this topic so that we can track our efforts. Thanks!
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. So I am wondering which words you would choose to describe the advertising practices of Nikon – the camera company. Take a look at some of these Nikon ads:
Sadly Nikon, like so many companies, has chosen to exploit women to sell their products. We’vecome to expect it from beer companies and the like (not that being a beer company makes it alright), but a camera company??? Seriously? I mean do they really think they are going to sell more cameras by showing “hot girl on girl action”?
I am honestly insulted that companies resort to this tactic. I consider myself to be a typical guy who like a lot of stereotypical guy things. I like football, buffalo wings, classic cars and stupid movies. However, I am smart enough to recognize that when companies use women’s sexuality to sell their products they are degrading and marginalizing women. That allows men to see women as sex objects rather than human beings. It is in that space that domestic and sexual violence exists.
I know that a lot of men who will read this will say that there is nothing wrong with “sexy”. In fact, my friend Andy said those exact words when I was encouraging him to stop buying American Apparel t-shirts. I told him about their horrible advertising practices like this:
I get that these images are intended to be arousing so that we, as men, associate that feeling wit hthat product (that sounds strange but it is true). It is about pleasure. If we associate a product with a pleasurable feeling, we are more likely to buy it. Some men can’t see past the sexual nature of these images and see the real damage they cause. In fact, this never registers with most men until a woman close to them experiences domestic or sexual violence. It is time for men to be enlightened.
Most men are good guys who believe that violence against women is wrong. They just don’t realize how violence against women comes about and why it still exists. They also don’t realize that they may be contributing to it by supporting these companies (and thousands of others), by laughing at a sexist joke, or by staring at a woman’s chest instead of her eyes during a conversation. These things seem innocent enough and are an accepted part of our culture, but this is where men must check themselves and each other. We must begin to change our culture so that these sorts of behaviors no longer go unchecked or unnoticed. If we do this, we will begin to create change. It will take time, but it will happen. It starts now…
